Bring on the Pain that Brings Me Back to Life

Rough weekend. My week ended swell, getting done with class on Wednesday morning, summing up a disastrous winter quarter. Ended up with 2 A's and 2 B's. Thank God those classes are done with. I sure won't miss GMC during my 23 day spring break.
I'm writing this at 6:00 AM in the Panera parking lot in Columbus. My horse, Beni, is showing this weekend at Poplar Place with my friend Lindsey Rairden in the irons. Good luck Beni and Linds! So I'm at the event grooming and spectating all weekend.

Last night, though, disaster struck. A good friend that I worked with at Frontier Ranch tried to commit suicide Thurs. night. Little did I know, and I spoke to her last night. I'm quite shaken up, as not only is this a great friend, who has been there for me through hell, this is the 2nd friend I have had that has recently chosen to try this. As many know, my buddy John Knoll from TX took his own life in the fall, and left everyone wondering why. It was unexpected, as was the situation Thursday night. I've been reading my Bible, and trying to stay positive. Today will be a true test of my character- if I can still do my job taking care of the event horses, while still keeping a good attitude and a servant's heart, when all I want to do is sit in my hotel room and cry.

This morning, though, 2 positive things have happened though. One, I realized how much of a safety net my friends are to me. They're once again helping me through this, and I'm SO grateful. Two, I found a song that really hit home. My friend, Mike Kennebrew, from Macon, is a YL leader and a musician. He has a song called, "Something Worth Saving." I heard it this morning on a mix I had made after hearing him at Sharp Top. Mike sings of "Tell me there's something worth saving, remind me that I'm still alive, bring on the pain that brings me back to life. I wanna give til I feel it, and I wanna love til it hurts, and I'll take the pain over nothing 1,000 times." These lyrics really hit home. The Lord won't put anything in front of us we can't handle, and we'll be able to fight again. I won't go down without a fight, and I know God is behind me. Below is a picture of John from the summer at Frontier Ranch.

Please keep my Work Crew in your prayers and thoughts, as well as all the riders at Poplar this weekend, for safety and strength.